Motherhood

A stay-at-home mother in an unstable marriage.

A working mother in an unstable marriage.

A physically disabled mother.

A single mother with a full time job.

A stay-at-home mother in a stable marriage.

A working mother in a stable marriage.

      At some point in the last four years I have played all of these roles. Scary, really. I have had to rely on very different aspects of my personality through each of these stages. Being disabled for a period of about nine months and being a single parent involved a lot of letting go. They involved allowing other people to care for my children and longing to be able to do more. Participating in an unstable marriage involved a lot of pretending. And grief.
      You probably don't need too many guesses to find which role I enjoy the most. I'm currently blessed to be able to stay at home full time with my children. It is not something I take for granted given my past. It is something that causes me to randomly cry tears of joy and appreciation, particularly when I hear the struggles of my friends and family trying to balance children and workloads.
      My own mother divorced when I was twelve. At that time my brother was eleven, and my sisters were eight and five. She had a full time job (or two) until I left the house. She never remarried. Money was scarce. Life was hard. Although we didn't have the clothes or the haircuts that other people did, we did have eachother. Although we didn't have food, electricity, or running water at times, we did have eachother. Although she was not at home a lot, she did what she could. And that is why I am the way I am. I have the utmost level of respect for my mother because she saw what she had to do and she did it.
      The constant in each of the above mentioned scenarios is that I wanted the best for my children while struggling through all of them. And, yes, I am implying that a stay-at-home mother in a wonderful marriage can have struggles, too. Everyone does.
      The most amazing thing about parenting is seeing the world around you through a child's lens. It allows you to forget your past and enjoy your present. It's refreshing. And it's a lot of fun.


      Something to think about: Has your mother played a role in your parenting? Have you allowed this to affect you negatively? Positively?